The first half of 2019 is nearly over and I asked myself what my biggest learnings in the area of personal development were so far this year.
A lot has happened: I finished the apprenticeship to become holistic coach, I became self-employed and I decided to move to New Zealand from September onwards for a year. Overall I feel like I’m a lot more in balance than at the beginning of the year. What helped me along the way?
1. I try to approach every challenge I face with a positive mindset.
What I mean is that I ask myself in every situation that I might as first perceive as negative what the positive aspects are and what I can learn from it. This changes not only my perspective but opens, in general, the possibility of various point of views on a given topic. The change in perspective also helps me to come to better terms with the ups and downs of life and to accept situations as they are.
2. I ask myself regarding every decision, if it brings me closer to the life of my dreams or rather away from it.
I used different books and methods to find the aim of my life. It also incorporates how I want to feel. A book that helped me was e.g. the „career navigator“ by Angelika Gulder.
I use the new knowledge about my aims as a guide and ask myself regarding every decision if I’m still on the right course for my journey. It’s like the north star and helps me navigate through the ocean of endless possibilities.
3. Every week I schedule in some time to get to know me even better.
My experience is that I keep learning more about myself, my personality and my needs, especially with the help of coachings, books, online courses, seminars and written reflections. I feel like all these tools help me in the short run with challenges I face and in the long run because I have more knowledge about certain topics.
My calendar is very useful, because I schedule regular appointments (as any other appointment) with myself to learn more, Skype with someone for a coaching session or read a new article or book. I love the concept of lifelong learning.
Of the books that I read during the last couple of months I found the following ones very helpful (some classics in the area of personal development):
- „The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You“ by Elaine N. Aron
- „Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life“ by Shakti Gawain
- „The Healing Power of Illness: Understanding What Your Symptoms Are Telling You“ by Thorwald Dethlefsen and Rüdiger Dahlke
- „You Can Create an Exceptional Life“ by Louise L. Hay and Cheryl Richardson
4. I create my everyday life in accordance
to my personality type.
This means for me that I spend more time alone and in general less time with humans because I’m an introvert, a highly sensitive person and I like to be alone.
As an introvert, I get energy from being alone (while extroverts charge their batteries when they are surrounded by people). I like to meet people, but I often feel a bit tired afterwards.
I also started to plan in fewer appointments per day and I meet fewer people per week. As a child, my ideal number of people that I wanted to hang out with was one person, which is why I try to keep it this way as an adult. Therefore, I’m also giving 1-on-1 coachings.
5. Other people don’t have to (and can’t) understand me and understand why I do what I do and why I decide in a certain way.
Everyone has his own reality and sees the world in accordance with his own experiences that he had since his birth and especially in the first couple of years. For a long time, I was asking myself why even close friends that have very similar values and the same approach to life see some aspects very different than I do.
Now I learned that our point of view depends on experiences that we make at the age of 0 to 2 or 0 to 4.
A rough example: Someone meets a (female) nanny for the first time and has a very positive experience with her that is repeated when he meets his first (female) teacher in elementary school as well as with his first (female) coach at a soccer club. When this person gets to university and just before meetings his first (female) professor, he is naturally and unconsciously expecting a positive experience.
The same happens for all other areas and people in a positive and negative way. Nobody made the exact same experiences that I made, which is why nobody has the same perception of a situation and can really understand how I perceive everything, what I feel and how I will decide. Everyone else can only try to understand.
These 5 things were my biggest learnings in the first couple of months this year.
What were yours? Can you relate or do you see the world entirely different?